No excuse. The firm will no longer accept your Doctor's Certificates
as proof. We believe that if you are ab1e to go to the doctor, you are
able to come to work.
2. DEATH: (other than your own)
This is no excuse, there is nothing you can do for them, and
therefore no time will be allowed for funerals. However, in case this
should cause some hardship to some of our employees there are those who
might care to note that on your behalf the firm has a special scheme in
conjunction with the local council for lunch time burials; thus
ensuring that no time is lost from work.
3. DEATH: (your own)
This will be accepted as an excuse. We should like two week's
notice, however, since we feel it is your duty to train someone else
for your job.
4. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR A OPERATION
We wish to discourage any thoughts you may have of needing an
operation, and henceforth no leave will be granted for hospital visits.
The firm believes that as long as you are an employee here you will
need all of whatever you already have and should not consider having
any part of it removed. We engaged you for your particular job with all
your parts and having anything removed would mean that we would be
getting less than we bargained for.
5. VISITS TO THE TOILET
Far too much time is spent on this particular practice, in future
the procedure will be that all personnel shall go in alphabetical
order. For example; those with the surname beginning with the letter
"A" will go from 9:30am to 9:45am, "B" will go from 9:45am-to l0:00am
etc.
NOTE: Those who are unable to attend at their allocated time will have to wait until the following day when their turn comes