THE MANY TYPES OF POOPIES

GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you felt the poopie come out, there's poopie on the toilet paper, but there's no poopie in the toilet.
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out and see it in the toilet but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 500 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with skid marks.
SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realise that you have to poopie some more.
POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge, you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trail is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOPIE: Self-explanatory...
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOPIE: (AKA: The power dump) The kind that comes out so fast your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
LIQUID POOPIE: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl while the whole time burning your butt.
MEXICAN POOPIE: It smells so bad your nose burns.
UPPER-CLASS POOPIE: The kind of poopie that doesn't smell
THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you're sure you're just going to fart, but oops - a poopie.
THE DANGLING POOPIE: The poopie refuses to drop into the toilet, even though you know you are done poopieing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.