The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesties Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as EuroEnglish.
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c" Sertainly this will make the Sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This Should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f" This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will enkorage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the language is disgrasful and they should go away.
By the 4th year peopl wil be mor reseptive to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud or kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.
After zix fifz yar ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubs or difikultis and evrivun vil find ti ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!